I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
