If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorry my hands just texted you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
