my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
