dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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