she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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