I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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