brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
