Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
