u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
