I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
