i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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