i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
