I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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