Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
