Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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