she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
