This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.