Texts From Last Night

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  (+49): View more from Germany

  i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.

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  (+49): i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve. http://tfl.nu/21ct
  Replies (7) Good night (3003) Bad night (775)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

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  (401): I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes" http://tfl.nu/jvdp
  Replies (14) Good night (4886) Bad night (678)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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  (407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed. http://tfl.nu/xljx
  Replies (87) Good night (3594) Bad night (31595)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.

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  (678): Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody. http://tfl.nu/1fu4
  Replies (2) Good night (724) Bad night (2114)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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  (918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm
  Replies (22) Good night (4449) Bad night (1248)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.

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  (503): we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food. http://tfl.nu/i6sw
  Replies (14) Good night (3868) Bad night (1878)
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  (845): View more from New York

  At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.

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  (845): At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/7ean
  Replies (2) Good night (2188) Bad night (792)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.

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  (860): Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know. http://tfl.nu/9803
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (1339)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's thinking positively..

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  (717): I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012 (1-717): That's thinking positively.. http://tfl.nu/r4se
  Replies (3) Good night (1714) Bad night (585)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.

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  (605): but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair. http://tfl.nu/hd3s
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (753)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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  (210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (804)
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  (530): View more from California

  .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.

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  (530): .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space. http://tfl.nu/f94k
  Replies (11) Good night (848) Bad night (1256)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats

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  (704): sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats http://tfl.nu/2wgg
  Replies (7) Good night (639) Bad night (1459)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.

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  (417): Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that. http://tfl.nu/gtr5
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (278)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.

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  (208): I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me. http://tfl.nu/moxg
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (392)

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