You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.