Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

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  (305) 1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge http://tfl.nu/8lgu
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

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  (863): Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/werm
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.

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  (973): i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex. http://tfl.nu/uspy
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.

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  (765): Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else. http://tfl.nu/92rk
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.

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  (574): its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes. http://tfl.nu/wfzo
  Replies (68) Good night (3620) Bad night (1830) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.

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  (410): If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living. http://tfl.nu/sgz4
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  without a question

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  (860): I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox (1-860): without a question http://tfl.nu/lm2z
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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  (617): what date should I let him know how fucked up I am? http://tfl.nu/6aws
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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  (919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc
  Replies (9) Good night (1213) Bad night (3292) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.

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  (908): Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester. http://tfl.nu/ge44
  Replies (9) Good night (2015) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.

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  (708): You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit. http://tfl.nu/hyfu
  Replies (2) Good night (1696) Bad night (1303)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.

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  (410): Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity. http://tfl.nu/9x3b
  Replies (7) Good night (523) Bad night (1271) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.

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  (507): We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do. http://tfl.nu/66ti
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  (925): View more from California

  It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.

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  (925): It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day. http://tfl.nu/ynaj
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?

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  (256): i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime? http://tfl.nu/inlq
  Replies (12) Good night (2067) Bad night (556)

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