Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.

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  (585): It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight. http://tfl.nu/zyt9
  Replies (10) Good night (3437) Bad night (912)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.

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  (352): You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/vzqd
  Replies (8) Good night (3642) Bad night (627)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

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  (479): Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band. http://tfl.nu/kt6h
  Replies (3) Good night (2621) Bad night (1100)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country

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  (210): Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country http://tfl.nu/te1e
  Replies (9) Good night (4378) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

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  (512): I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective http://tfl.nu/bge2
  Replies (8) Good night (1639) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

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  (618): Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum. http://tfl.nu/gdla
  Replies (8) Good night (1603) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself

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  (406): I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself http://tfl.nu/7ngm
  Replies (13) Good night (2493) Bad night (832)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.

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  (503): So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper. http://tfl.nu/n7cq
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?

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  (781): Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station? http://tfl.nu/6qox
  Replies (5) Good night (734) Bad night (443)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Explain the King Dong next to my face.

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  (570): Explain the King Dong next to my face. http://tfl.nu/zscw
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (257)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?

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  (239): It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class? http://tfl.nu/6z5l
  Replies (17) Good night (341) Bad night (736)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.

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  (215): i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through. http://tfl.nu/i9fy
  Replies (1) Good night (1020) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant

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  (902): jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant http://tfl.nu/c3mp
  Replies (0) Good night (582) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?

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  (573): Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old? http://tfl.nu/2nuv
  Replies (0) Good night (430) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?

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  (818): Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding? http://tfl.nu/07ft
  Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (212)

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