Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.

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  (607): I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships. http://tfl.nu/rdml
  Replies (22) Good night (829) Bad night (3204)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

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  (954): a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube http://tfl.nu/f16y
  Replies (4) Good night (1017) Bad night (2846)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.

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  (309): just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping. http://tfl.nu/3wmp
  Replies (17) Good night (3271) Bad night (837)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded

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  (306): This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded http://tfl.nu/nfzj
  Replies (59) Good night (1184) Bad night (6942)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life

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  (818): I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life http://tfl.nu/xzyw
  Replies (40) Good night (5007) Bad night (595)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.

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  (904): He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college. http://tfl.nu/3hcf
  Replies (19) Good night (2532) Bad night (5994)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.

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  (609): He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this. http://tfl.nu/kn9g
  Replies (23) Good night (1038) Bad night (4135)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.

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  (713): I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups. http://tfl.nu/3y6t
  Replies (16) Good night (3782) Bad night (1092)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.

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  (+44): Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/fnbb
  Replies (9) Good night (3460) Bad night (1483)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.

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  (804): Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care. http://tfl.nu/7tzw
  Replies (20) Good night (1226) Bad night (4091)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.

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  (214): you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night. http://tfl.nu/mxyx
  Replies (7) Good night (2292) Bad night (500)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?

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  (610): Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits? http://tfl.nu/td8v
  Replies (15) Good night (1995) Bad night (411)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat

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  (440): I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat http://tfl.nu/9vl7
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (534)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian

  (443): View more from Maryland

  And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?

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  (443): He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian (443): And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun? http://tfl.nu/mgrv
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (161)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.

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  (601): I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work. http://tfl.nu/dzc4
  Replies (0) Good night (335) Bad night (170)

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