Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
