that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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