just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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