Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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