A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
