I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need to calm my uterus...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
