dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
