Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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