Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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