Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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