Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
