So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
