people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
