Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
