$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize