Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
