Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
