It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
