I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
