He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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