i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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