Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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