cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
