No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
