I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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