lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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