you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
