She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
