4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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