my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
