So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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