What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.