So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
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Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again