I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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