I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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