Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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