They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
