Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
