I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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