did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
