you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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