are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
