are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
