You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
